Lyndon from North Carolina
I am married to a 73-year-old wonderful lady, who because of falls and several brain bleeds, has been diagnosed with dementia. We have seen several different doctors and seem to be on the right pills at this time. I am the primary care giver; I work 8-5, Monday through Friday, and have a caregiver come in to take care of her during the day. She can use the restroom and take a shower by herself, dress and put on, sort of, make-up. Her memory is going, but when I question her about something, it is always my memory loss, to which, I say, which has become my mantra, "My bad." Her friends have freaked out over this development and have pretty much left her alone. Her daughters live close but do not help unless asked and do not help us financially, though both are employed and their husbands as well. We really can't go out much and she does not travel well more than about two hours. I am tired, angry, and sad. Her daughters have never taken to me, though we have been married 16 years and know each other our whole lives. I wait on my wife hand and foot, cook, clean, bathe and clean-up after her, and at time dress her, do her hair and choose her jewelry. I am POA-eldest daughter Medical POA. I am unable to laugh about any of the "stuff" she does and have to put up with the guest visits from the daughters. I have 3 children, grown and gone and b/c of the way I am treated by her daughters, they don't come to town to see me. I have a great minister and friends, but that is not enough... I can’t do anything on my own unless I have a "watcher". Finances are really tough too, but I make sure we get by and I can make left-overs into another meal so you never know they are left overs!!