Bonnie from Alabama

After I quit my job and moved home to take care of my mother, she conveniently forgot she had asked me to come and resented my presence. That first month we fought constantly and she asked me to leave daily. I had no support from my brother and the only other family close by also urged my leaving. I stayed because I wasn’t convinced. My mom was 89 and her kidneys had failed which meant she had sores everywhere that needed cleaning and bandaging every day. But one day, returning from the ER where we had taken her for chest pain, we discovered that she couldn’t put any weight on her legs and everything changed. Finally my mother accepted and appreciated that I was there to help. The next month was the most intense yet gratifying experience of my life. After taking care of me my whole life, my mom was finally allowing me to give back to her and for the next four weeks I happily helped her in and out of her wheelchair until an incident convinced me that it was now beyond me alone and she should be in a nursing home. Finances and family both prompted this decision. No help with the first or from the latter. My mother died 2 days later.

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