Ren from New York

Hi, I'm Ren, and my mom's name is Jane. I've always known that I'd take care of my mom when she got older, and needed me. My mom had been very independent until she fell down a flight of stairs in 2008. It was very traumatic. I was taught by medical staff, how to apply clean bandages to a large portion of the front of mom's leg. I did this every morning, after my night shift, for two years.

I am soley responsible for managing mom's meds. This cuts down on any confusion. I've created a system of placing mom's meds in seven small clear jewelry bags with a tab for each day of the week, inside the bag. I give mom three days at a time, in a small container. We reuse the tabs. I check it daily for accuracy. This allows mom a sense of independence; and she doesn't have to fight with a pill holder, which can pop open, and mix up all of the meds.

I now care for mom everyday. Ten years have passed since she fell down the stairs, and her needs have shifted more towards age related ailments.

Our situation is unique, as I live below her, on the 1st floor, and can assist her at any time during the day or night. I have switched work shifts to meet our needs, and to get mom to the Dr.

I have siblings who help her also - but, I live the closest.
When we go to the Dr., she loves to stop at the snack station. She really enjoys this. She doesn't always feel good enough to get out, so when she can get to her appointments, it brightens my spirit to see her socialize, and talk to others.

She shares stories about our city, and how she grew up. People love to listen to her! She is definitely a teacher. I learn a lot from her every day.
Mom beats the family at scrabble, and makes us all laugh.

Staying organized with my own business, keeps me calm, and able to handle mom's business. Our main comedy routine is when mom fusses at me for being "too busy". I often have to remind her that "I've done yours, now I've got to do mine".

My main focus is to do things that keep each of us healthy, and happy, and to ask family for assistance when needed. I see caring for my mom, as one of the most privileged responsibilities that I will ever have.
Every day, I pray I get it right.

Share Your Caregiving Story Here

+ Tips for sharing your story

This is an update to my family caregiving story that I have already shared.

Only one story submission per person and/or per household will be accepted.

I also agree that, only when necessary, AARP or its representative may call me with requests for information, as needed to verify my story.

By clicking “Share Your Story”, I acknowledge that I have read and agree to the terms and conditions of AARP’s Release Agreement and agree to receive emails about AARP activities, events, and membership benefits.