Doris from Wisconsin

My Mom, Mary Levine Liebman, lived in Florida in a high rise condo. After my Dad died in 1978, she developed a very independent semi-professional career. She was President of her Condo Association and President of nine chapters of Hadassah. Fund raising was one area of her expertise.

We spoke on the phone every weekend; I usually had more to say than she did. As the years went by, I discovered that Hadassah had eliminated her "role." The truth was they "fired" her for mismanagement of large sums of money. Then the phone calls changed.

I finally flew to FL; opening the door to her apartment told me all I had to know. The fastidious woman's apt. smelled; the "cook's" refrigerator was empty. Then became the challenge of convincing her to move closer to her son (NY) or me (WI).

I met denial situations from all family members; the assisted living facility was awful and then they "kicked her out" with 30 days notice. Her care in the nursing facility was much better. Since I was the only visitor, I had to cope with all of her medical and personal issues. She passed away on Thanksgiving Day (2004) - a blessing for me because my adult children were preparing dinner.

A friend who went through similar circumstances took Alzheimer's Disease Caregiving Training with me, and we operated a support group for two years. Again, we met with denial - but at least we had each other.