Victoria from Georgia

My husband, our niece and I tag-team to care for my sister-in-law, Pat, who's my husband's half-sister (they shared a mom). Pat's now almost 76 but has had mini-strokes since at least age 65, and now has full-fledged Alzheimer's. We have a kind of routine, but it's shaky. SUNDAY: Pat's daughter Kym places her meds in the med box and carries away the urine-soaked clothes and washes and dries. MONDAY: Husband phones Pat to remind her to take meds, eat and drink. TUESDAY: Same. WEDNESDAY: Vic goes over and completes two-week menus and pays for dinner delivery. Dinner is delivered 5 nights a week (as a rule) -- meat, veg, fruit, desert, roll or other carb. Loves on Miss Kitty, with brushing and treats and fresh water. Totes out garbage. THURSDAY: Phone call to Pat to remind her to take pills, eat, and drink. FRIDAY: The same. SATURDAY: Husband does a major shopping so that Pat has TP, shampoo, paper towels. He stands and makes 15-20 sandwiches because Pat's unable to do that.

Sadly, this is not our first go-round with dementia. My husband insisted that his father come live with us. It seems his father insisted, just after the wife/mother died, that my poor husband (age 16) vow that he would always keep a place/space for the dad.

My father-in-law was the meanest little man I had ever met. Nasty. Rude. Cruel.
He always called me STUPID. We're sitting at breakfast (which I prepared) and he says "Boy, are YOU Stupid!" I won! I said BOY are you right! Why would I pay any attention to you?