James from Alabama

I am 79, caring my 76 year old wife who was diagnosed with dementia over 2-1/2 years and now has full Alzheimer. We have lived a number of states but now retired to Alabama. My wife now requires complete attention including dressing, eating, walking, being there. Our children try to get here as much as they can and one son from here gets as much as he can when not working but not when I need help. Most of our relatives and friends are in other states.

Some of the recent problems that are frustrating me is getting her to eat, take her pills (not to remember them but I do that), trying getting her to recognize she needs to go to toilet. I've tried home care for early mornings and late evenings a couple days a week. Although they had experience, they were too young and my wife had misgivings with them. Believe me, my wife and I still joke with each other but those times when I get angry (when not taking pills, clothes difficult) when she appears to be a child but she can never remember those times. Thank goodness. There is no chance of her getting out of the house since she can not get up from her seat. The brochure from AARP gave me tips about writing up how to take care of her before something happens to me.

My actual need here is minimal so far. This will change very soon.