Jane from Indiana

My husband and I are both retired, working at part time jobs. I work as a clerk in the children's department at our city library, and Larry works at the Sunshine Van, dispatching drivers to pick up and deliver seniors to their appointments. A little over six weeks ago, Larry was mowing and his left suddenly flew off of the mower, unable to grasp the steering bar. He shut the mower off, and when tried to stand, his left leg collapsed. He called for me, and I, in turn, called 911. Since his symptoms were those of a stroke, I gave him an aspirin to dissolve in his mouth. The paramedics took him to the local hometown hospital, then he was sent on to Indiana University Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis. He had suffered a hemorrhage in the right side of his brain. He had undergone a radiation treatment for a melanoma three weeks earlier. The vessels around the tumor had ruptured, causing the brain bleed and resulting swelling. After consultation, the neurologists decided that the best course of treatment was to do brain surgery to relieve the pressure and spur healing so the melanoma infusion therapy treatments could be resumed as soon as possible. Following the surgery and post op care, Larry went to an acute rehabilitation facility to help him get ready to go home. He had physical and occupational therapy for three weeks, then was released to go home. I became the caregiver. I was instructed on making transfers from the wheelchair to the bed and commode. We could not transfer him to the car or the shower because Larry is a strapping 6 foot two and a half inches tall, weighing 205 pounds. I am five foot three. He also still had a flaccid arm and leg, the leg being a dead weight. We were not able to receive home health care because he was to continue PT and OT as an outpatient. We have been home for three weeks now, and he finally had his first shower today as our son from out of town came to help and the two of us got him in the shower. If it was not for the Sunshine Van service, we could not get to therapy. They pick us up and take us to the facility. We are to learn transfers to the car and shower soon, and Larry is getting stronger and may be able to help more with those transfers. Other skills that I have had to learn are controlling a diabetic diet, as the medications have thrown Larry into diabetes. I test his blood sugar four times a day and give him four insulin shots. I also give him a daily shot in his stomach area to limit blood clotting. He has ten prescription medications that I administer, and they are given at various times, once, twice, three times a day or at bedtime. He has an ulcer on his tailbone from sitting in the chair, and I recently learned how to dress it. I have had to take an extended leave from my part time job, and we have needed to buy many out of pocket medical supplies to maintain his healing. Taking care of Larry's needs is a full time job, taking the full day. We are often exhausted by nine o'clock and ready for bed. We have appointments with therapy and various doctors several days each week. We are grateful that he has a good prognosis for healing and regaining the use of his arm and leg. I felt totally unskilled to be taking on such a huge responsibility with healthcare. I am happy to do it, as I want Larry to have the best opportunity for healing as possible, but I also am a little insecure as to my abilities as a nurse. I have wished more than once for a helper or a nurse to give me assurance that he is being well cared for. He is a trouper, helping me through my efforts at helping him to be better. I often wonder, what would this look like if we were ten or fifteen years older? I try to do things to help him.