Alice from Washington

My husband, Edward, is on a 20-year downward spiral with dementia. He also has hydrocephalus as well. He is in the stage of misplacing things and blaming family members of taking his things, like socks, wallet, money, etc.

There are times when I feel like crying (and sometimes I do). I have taken one 4-day 3-night vacation with a friend of mine and that was so invigorating and restful. A month before the trip to California, I arranged with three friends of ours, any my daughters, to schedule some outings with my husband while I was away. It worked out perfectly. However, that was a while ago. Now I feel as though I need another get-a-way.

There are times, during any given day, that I really feel like crying (and sometimes I do). However, I feel like I am just feeling sorry for myself. So, I tell myself to "get up, and stop feeling sorry for yourself."

My husband would not feel comfortable with strangers, so that is why I have not involved any agency or someone that he does not know.

He has not been allowed to drive because of his dementia and hydrocephalus. He gets upset about that and gives me grief about that.

He has had a spinal tap twice now) and the doctor does not see any positive progression in the result of that procedure. My husband does not agree with a shunt placed in his head and so we are at the end of the road. Because of the downside of that procedure, Ed will not consent to having it done.